Life isn’t all butterflies and rainbows, sometimes it has to hurt. People will hurt you, not always on purpose but it happens. You will break down, feel powerless and hurt yet you will stand up again. I am not justifying the people who may have hurt you but do you realize that this is life , this is the beauty of life. The fact that it’s never steady, there will always be ups and downs and you only grow with the experiences you go through (good and bad). If you really wanted to avoid being hurt you would have to shut yourself away from everyone in the world, but then…what’s the point of living? The remarkable thing about life is our interactions with people, our feelings and how it affects us. Accept the truth that you can get hurt in life and sometimes you can’t do too much to avoid it , now what do we do after we are hurt? We forgive and forget.
Yes, it is possible ! We all can forgive others and forget, some may have to try harder than others, yet it is something we are all capable of doing.
You have to realize that forgiving others for what they have done to you isn’t exactly so that they feel better, it’s for you. When you don’t forgive the people whom have harmed you, you carry the pain and the memories with you throughout your life. It may not bother you on a day to day basis but why do you want to re-live the pain and memories in your mind from time to time? Free Yourself
“Life is too short to hold a grudge, also too long.” ~Robert Brault
Forgiveness is not easy to get or to give but it is a crucial thing people need to learn to do. Some do not understand that by never forgiving someone and holding a grudge against someone the only person that actually is continuing to be harmed is the one not forgiving. It’s a complete waste of time and mental energy planning and seeking revenge. Instead of holding onto painful and hurtful memories , why not use the time to focus on things that are more important? You can work on yourself, your career, your family and more.
Perhaps forgiveness is the best way to combat an enemy. If the person sincerely is sorry for what s/he has done to you, there is no reason you should continue the hatred and resentment towards this person.
“Where there is anger, there is always pain underneath.” ~Eckhart Tolle
Ways to Forgive and Forget :
1) Accept it
One very important thing I learnt in life is that there are things that we can’t control and can’t change therefore all we can do is accept it instead of fight it.
Nobody is perfect, we all make mistakes and make retarded choices. That person made a mistake, made a stupid choice and hurt you. Now it’s over and there is no reason to linger in the pain anymore. Accept it that the person has hurt you, forgive and forget it.
A hard one to do. You probably thinking why should I try to understand why that person hurt me ?! However, sometimes we need to get into other people’s shoes to see why they might have done what they did. I repeat, we are all humans we make mistakes all the time.
3) It’s for You
You do not deserve to carry the pain with you during your life. You should be happy and be able to live your life properly. Remember that forgiving others is not for them yet for YOU.
4) Stop thinking about it and let go
It’s something which is hard to do but try to divert your attention to other things when you think of it. Forgiveness comes easier with time, give yourself some time to forget it. If you keep reminding yourself of how hurt you’ve been you never fully let go of it.
5) Write a letter to this person
Write out all the things the person has done to you, how they made you feel and how upset and angry you are. Then tear it and throw it away. The process is only for you to let it out of your system.
Remember that holding a grudge against somebody will only bring out the worst out of you physically and mentally. Life is too short to waste your time not forgiving others, there’s too much to enjoy in life :-).